Nerdy Girl Ramblings-Polymer Clay, Life Stories Etc

Finally!

2011-06-09T08:42:00.000-04:00

I have been semi stagnant with my craftiness for a long time! Even though I have made things here and there I haven't made an effort to sit down and be purposeful about making some new pieces of jewelry.
For years now I have been fascinated with metal working and making rings and such with silver or copper but have never really known how to get started. After recently stumbling upon Lisa Leonard's website http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/ and Rhonda's website The Spirit Factory http://www.thespiritfactory.com/TheSpiritFactory/_home~.html I became inspired. Not only are these women making INCREDIBLE stamped metal jewelry but they are living their dream and are such beautiful women inside and out! They both make jewelry using similar materials but both have their own distinct styles and flair!

So there was my dilemma. I knew what my heart was drawing me towards but how do you admire an artist and still create your own style? I was very concerned when I first started working that it would seem like I was "borrowing" ideas, but as I continued practicing it became apparent that all of my other jewelry making knowledge was starting to tie in to my pieces.

I am having a BLAST and I do hope that although these women are an inspiration to me, that my pieces have more ME in them than anything else!

Thanks Ladies for being you and for sharing your talent!

Please check out my etsy site to see more of my work but here are a few of my new favs!

Mother of the YEAR! NOT!

2011-06-02T00:30:00.000-04:00

I may have just gotten the blue ribbon for worst mother of the year. I realize that more and more often I have been yelling at my kids. But not just yelling at them, Berating them! I know while I am screaming and fussing that I am taking frustrations out on them that are not theirs to deal with.

I could list all of my complaints and say what causes me frustration, but it really doesn't matter because it is not an 11 year old and a 9 year old (in 27 days) fault. Yes, most of the time it begins with a legitimate reason for a motherly scolding; pick up your shoes, clothes, toys etc for the 100th time, but the problem comes in with how I handle it.

Tonight I called my daughter a nag. Seems harmless enough on the screen but it crushed her little spirit. She even tried to come in and talk to me and I (very gruffly) said, "Go away!" OK so we all have had our moments but I really knew I was hurting her and my son with my words and kept on with my attitude.

My precious son thinks I hate him and that I think he is stupid. I know that is kid mentality but he IS thinking it nonetheless. He has such a sweet heart and is so much more tender than I give him credit for.

I guess my goofy thinking was maybe if I hurt their feelings they will be shamed into behaving. That only proves that I am as immature as they are. I was thankful when my husband walked in after his meeting just in time to save me from being even more of a horse's patootie! He went in an spoke with her and soon after she very bravely told me that tomorrow she would like to share her feelings with me. UGGGG! I could see the hurt all over her sweet face.

I told her to tell me then what she felt and I swear she grew up right in front of my eyes! She told me about all of the things that have been going on and how they have hurt her. She pointed out specific things and times that have happened lately that I feel out into an all out sob onto her (almost) 9 year old chest. I couldn't deny any of it and I felt like I had failed my children.

I am sobbing so hard right now I can hardly type. The tears feel like they will never make things better. I say I try hard, and that I am stressed and whatever else to try to make myself belive that I really do try hard but I am realizing that it is just lies I have been telling myself so I don't have to work as hard at something.

The thing is that I am fighting to not feel like a failure right now. I KNOW that I am not because God says I am not but those old lies are trying to take back over. I need lots of prayer right now! For my kids, my family and especially for me.

I know we will make it through this and things WILL get better but tonight was really crappy and I hope to learn from my mistakes.

I am just glad we have a God of GRACE that not only forgives us but has already forgiven all of our sins. That gives me comfort on this heart-wrenching night. I wish I could have my kids understand how much I love them and that Mommy's are people too with hurts, pains, and problems sometimes.

On a lighter note I sold something on etsy to someone I actually don't know this time! EXCITING!

Struggling..

2011-04-12T08:21:00.001-04:00

Bipolar sucks! I can think of no other appropriate word for it. One moment you you feel you could save the world and the next you are wondering if it will swallow you. It really really sucks! I am lucky enough to know I have bipolar and take meds to keep it stable but it always peeks through. The manic part of bipolar is AWESOME! I can clean, cook, craft, life is good! I have energy I never knew I could have when I am in my "up' phase. Unfortunately it only lasts a few days to a week. My Low phase is not an in the bed suicidal phase. THANK GOD for that! But it is a grinding gnawing feeling of confusion topped with a HUGE inability to get anything done. This is the part where more piles in on top with thoughts of low self worth and general feeling of frustration. The worst thing on top of it all is I just discovered I have sleep apnea and I am waking up 29 times per hour without my knowledge and gasping for breath and all of that good stuff. That is not something to add to bipolar let me tell you because the exhaustion is as bad as chronic pain in my opinion!

So last night I hopped on Twitter and Katie from Overflowing Brain put a link to the video for Pink's song F'in' Perfect. Mind you it says the whole word. On the radio it doesn't and I always have liked it but last night for some reason the rawness and gritty"ness" of that explict version of that song just worked for me. She had it up for another reason and I encourage you to read her blog post as well but it spoke to me in a strange way.

On Sunday my hubby preached an awesome sermon. One of his best, at least in my opinion, and touchedme where I am spiritually and emotionally. He spoke of being in the dark and coming into the light using the Gospel text John 11:1-45 where Lazarus died and is in the tomb for days and Jesus "wakes" him but in essence He raises him from the dead. He calls him from the dark into the light.

He (my hubby) spoke of his father who suffered Bipolar much more severe than I have and how his dad's "darkness" affected him as a child and how in his 1 1/2 before his death he CHOSE the light even though the darkness was always there.

When I think of darkness I believe there are many types. Physical & emotional darkness caused by injury and illness but there is also spiritual darkness and I think they can all be tied in together. Call it what you will evil, Satan or just Darkness, it is all the same and the dark can seem a much more comfortable place to be in than in the light. I am finding that even though nothing has changed today just writing this in the light of day is helping to expose my feelings of depression.

I can't allow myself to buy into what would LOVE to take over me! I am not diminishing the fact that there are others that suffer much worse than I do and that sometimes meds can't be worked out so there is a moment of clarity. I am thankful for my situation and pray for others with uncontrolled mental illness.

Please be supportive of those around you who may be suffering in the dark. You may never even know that they are screaming for attention or even just a little acknowledgment that " I know you are in a rough place but 'This too shall pass'"

I have lots of love in my life; my family , my friends my Twitter peeps, and even my kids who act like I am the biggest GOON they have ever met! ( I know they love me because I am their comfort in the quiet times)

I love who I am and who I am growing to be! I always will need a little tweeking but know there are others out there that are your support is amazing!

This was my gift from God this morning to remind me that Light ALWAYS overcomes the Dark

And for anyone who read my previous post about Potential... this is the after shot of my little plant bed. I would say it has lived up to its potential and will look SO good once it fills in! :)

"PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE! DON'T YOU EVER EVER THINK, YOU ARE LESS THAN, LESS THAN PERFECT!" Pink-F'in' Perfect

Enjoy your PERFECT day!

Full of potential...

2011-04-09T22:23:00.000-04:00

As I quickly approach my shhh (40th) b-day I am really changing the way I think about things. In fact I am very purposefully thinking about things these days. I am noticing how much people talk about each other and try to be hurtful, and how being quiet is sometimes more powerful than speaking at all. I am feeling the NEED to finish things in my life ( I am terrible about leaving things undone). And how it is so important for me to do the things I love like make jewelry and take pictures and stop avoid doing them because I don't have the time or energy or whatever the excuse.

I was thinking about and even started a new blog for my "real" self to come out and then realized how ridiculous that is to have one blog for regular stuff and the other for the "real" me. How real of me is that to have an alter ego? So my intentions are to show the blog world how full of potential I am and give all I have to give. I want to challenge myself to write more and enjoy life more!

For my first full of potential post I have our flower bed that has looked just awful for years. My hubby and I decided to make a commitment to the poor thing and cleaned it out and well I will show the after picture later and you can tell me what you think! Here is the BEFORE picture. I really have to credit Rhonda from http://www.thespiritfactory.com/TheSpiritFactory/_home~.html for sharing her beautiful gifts with jewelry and, spirituality and pictures of her lovely garden. That really gave me the inspiration to get to plantin'!

BEFORE

I mentioned it in my last post but I will say it again; I LOVE reading Twitter and getting inspiration from everyone I follow! They may not know me or that they offer such support but I find such comfort in the "realness" of everyone there!

Have a BLESSED evening!

A funny thing happened when we all lost power...

2011-03-15T01:27:00.000-04:00

Sunday afternoon was absolutely GORGEOUS here! Perfect temperature and the neighborhood kids were outside playing but...I was inside at my computer until the power shut off. No warning, just blank screen and a strange sound. No that was no sound it was NO sound. As in no Sponge Bob, NO whatever other really annoying cartoons that are trying to be passed off as funny, no hummm of anything! It was so nice!

SO I immediately assumed I hadn't paid my power bill. Not that that has ever happened or any thing, :), but you know just in case. Apparently everyone else did that too. Then the next step, text my girl Bethe a few streets over. Power was out there too!

Then guess what ? All of my neighbors came outside. It was like Sunday on the farm! With out all that fried gravy-fied goodness of course. We all chatted, and laughed, and all of us realized that we had either been inside on the computer or watching TV. I was really neat to see everyone outside all at once and for 2 hours we had a technology free afternoon. (except my occasional sneaks to my phone)

I am so enjoying twitter. I don't tweet all that much. Nor do I get @mention"ed" often, but just reading and seeing how creative so many people are is fun! I love the different personalities that all of the folks I follow have. Many do not have the same personal opinions that I do, some use language that I only wish I had the guts to use, some are not the same religion as I am, and but every one of their tweets is fun to read. I love technology! It takes me places I would never otherwise go, and gives me ideas that may never evolve but just knowing there is a tutorial for it waiting for me is all I need to get through another day!

Even though those Twitter peeps my never read this, I want to put a BIG thanks out "there" for all of the encouragement I get daily!

SPAGHETTI TACOS!!!

2011-01-04T00:55:00.000-05:00

Forgive me for not posting since October. I think I am back on track now! :) I have been quite crafty lately and I am enjoying getting to know that side of me again!

Our Son has been talking about spaghetti tacos that he had at a friends house for quite sometime now. The idea of these is not foreign to me as Spencer makes them often on iCarly. The kids love that show (well so do my husband and I) but I really never thought about trying this strange concoction until our son begged for them. You see I hardly EVER cook. Hate it! SOOOO much! But I just couldn't turn him down! And he said his friends mom made them so well that the sauce tasted like candy! I could not be outdone! So after a trip to Walmart I was on my way to being mom of the year!

Well, let me tell you...I ate 3 of those things and I'm not ashamed to tell you! You really must try them! Really really!

Let me know what you think after you eat some!!!!!

14 years!

2010-10-20T09:33:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was our 14 year wedding Anniversary. It is so hard to believe how time flies so fast! It has been quite a journey. One that is full of laughter, and fun and tears and LOTS of growth. I enjoy knowing that no matter where my husband and I are in our personal lives we always seem to be able to make it work in our married life. It is not always perfect but I would not trade my life for anything. I couldn't have married a more understanding and forgiving man besides him. (He puts up with a lot from me at times (:) SO Happy 14 years (yesterday)!

Here is the rundown of the day:

I needed the clothes folded, so I forced Sadie to work her paws to the nub. You can see how tired it made her!

Then we, as in the lovely anniversary couple AND the youngins', went to eat dinner that then entertainment of an incredible dance performance from none other than The "quin" of Romance. (that's queen to you and me!)

She had planned this dance all day and was so proud to show us! It involved a lot of twirling and humming! She had a smile on her face and was just beaming! It ended with her singing "Happy 14th and don't ever get divorced" Funny what kids think about! She is truly a joy and so creative.

Her sweet brother helped her by giving her the idea of her grand entrance which involved coming downstairs with a handful of stuffed animals and tossing them into the air. Here is his self portrait.

What great kids! For all of the fussing I do I really adore them!

Once all of the beauties (including my sweetie) were asleep I gave myself an Anniversary gift...

OOOHHH yeah! Warm Krispy Kreme donuts and cold milk. Ahhhh! What a day!

So, today is my crafty day. Any suggestions? I enjoy reading blogs and tweets and there are so many creative people out there. I want to do all of the things I see. I just purchased Simply Spray to decorate some shirts. Maybe that will be fun! I will post any pics if I am successful.

Have a Lovely day!!!!!!!!!

Good Grief?

2010-10-05T01:35:00.002-04:00

As I spun around in my mismatched PJ's after the usual waving to the kids routine before going to school, I saw to my HORROR no spider! Like any reasonable adult I burst into tears and sat on the porch looking for my friend until my husband rescued me with a cup of coffee from the corner store. Being the understanding man he is he let me weep over the death of "my" spider until I could pull myself together. All I could muster to say was "and she didn't even get to lay any eggs." I was having a major Charlotte's Web moment! I was actually hoping that hundreds of them would come parachuting down their silks to greet me. But, alas, I had to face the fact that spiders have a season like all of us do. I then realized that maybe, just maybe I was transferring some grief from missing Ace to the sweet spider I have loved for so many months. I guess it is easier to cry over something that doesn't love you back or that you already know won't live long than over a father you miss so much.

As I am writing this I am crying those hot tears that you try so hard to keep inside. The ones that begin as a hard lump in your throat and pour out of your eyes regardless of how hard you fight them. I am so tired of fighting. Fighting pain, fighting children, fighting finances. I am ready to take it all back and instead of me being in control hand it over to God.

Those hot tears are cleansing me. They are washing away the pain that I hold inside. Grief sucks! It really does! Just when you think you are in a healing spot! BAM! Something new.

But, the good news is that tomorrow is another day! A great day because I choose it to be. I am really trying to live by the idea that I have a choice of how I handle everything. I can make it positive or negative. There is too much to enjoy to be eaten up by anger, pain & negativity. I do have to constantly remind myself of this though.

This weekend we IKEA'fied' the kids rooms. We aren't finished but close. To see the look on their faces was the best gift ever! My son who is rarely satisfied was beaming and has decorated and really made the space his own. He is proud of his room. Of course we did his sisters room first and once she saw his she burst into tears and said that that was actually how she wanted her room all along. Oh well! You can always get it 100% right. She is really into zebras right now so her room is really cute.

(as you can see not quite done yet) and the walls are still purple...not good for the now blue lovin' gal.

I will post picks of my son's room when I can walk in there. Its still a bit Legofied. If you have never stepped on a Lego barefooted trust me it 'aint fun!

On a closing note, I am getting closer to actually making something rather than enviously looking at other blogs and the cool crafts and remakes. I love this blog I stumbled upon on from someones Twitter retweet. It is called New Dress A Day and I have really had fun reading it. Marisa is so fun and inspiring that I am looking at clothes and fabric in a different way now. There is potential in everything. Check her blog out. Her personality alone will brighten your day!

Ok, well, TTNF as Tigger says. I'm up too late. (Umm I just reread this and well, it is obvious I am tired. It really is quite disjointed) Enjoy my randomness! :)

A quiet Saturday morning...well sort of

2010-09-25T10:09:00.000-04:00

Ahhh! Coffee in hand, daughter at a friends house, no TV, hubby at a retreat...oh yeah 3 boys upstairs playing XBOX 360...and the hum of race cars on the Speedway. Oh well, almost paradise! Ok now I am singing that song. "Almost Paradise. We're knockin' on Heavens door. Almost Paradise, How could we ask for more?..." Now you are too. RIGHT? :)
Sorry I am a little goofy this morning.

For 2 days now I have decided to start playing my guitar after at least 15 years of seriously practicing. I have picked it up over the years but only to complain about my fingers hurting! Call the WAAAHHHMBULANCE. Case in point..

They are a little sore, BUT it feels so good to play. Its in my blood. My dad used to play for me when I was little and visited him. Those are good memories. I remember them like they just happened. The guitar is from Ace who died in January. I posted about him recently. I also call him my dad. I grew up with him. The day he presented me with the guitar was on a birthday. I wish I could remember which one. Maybe my 21st but all I wanted to do was go out and PARTAY!! I was opening presents and he proudly walked in with this guitar as if it was for him. This was his way. He always wanted to add surprise and mystery to a gift. I find myself doing this with my kids now. Once I asked about it then he handed it to me.

It is so beautiful with its shiny body and mother of pearl inlay all down the back. I really treasure that gift probably more than any other. We even took lessons from the same teacher for a while. I think pulling that guitar out is part of my healing from grief. I know that grief never goes away but I have really blocked most of my feelings about his illness and death until recently. Playing is my way to think about Ace without pain. To honor his gift (and all the gifts both tangible and intangible). And it allows me to be creative in short bursts since that is all I seem to have for time anymore. I really love that guitar.

What healthy ways do you deal with pain and grief? I would love to know. I would really enjoy hearing from some of you. It is wonderful to me to read other blogs and commenting on them. I learn so much from other women.

I have been very introspective the last few days and have really let everything around me sort of "go to pot" around me. My mom has always said that. I am thinking that is not a healthy way to deal but possibly self-preservation. With all of the stress at times I have decided that busting my rear to do everything just right isn't worth my sanity. I can deal with the mess right now. (It is getting rather bad though).

So, as I was getting coffee from my beloved Keurig coffee maker. I noticed a sweet little bird taking a dirt bath in a plant. It made me smile. It's those little things we have to hold on to. See what makes you happy. As long as it is good for you and those around you, cling to them until things get better. Pray! Pray for those who may be in such a bad place that prayer doesn't cross their minds. Pray for those who will never in their lives pray. Pray for friends, enemies, and the very people that seem to not need prayer at all because most likely they are the very ones that do. I do not feel like I have all of the answers. I need to live by what I am telling you. I am that person who needs prayer. And likely you are too! I will pray for you. Even though I don't know you. I will make that commitment. The internet has given us lots of things. Too much access is one of them, but for many it is a way to reach out to people that they would never meet or mingle with and grow stronger because of it. We share so we can grow and learn to love those around us and especially OURSELVES.

Love yourself today! And look at the things that make you smile!

LINKS, LINKS, LINKS!!!

2010-09-24T16:36:00.000-04:00

I am so LOVING this website! And her giveaway is awesome too! It really sounds like she and her husband are doing some great things while successfully supporting their family and loving what they do. What a great story! The company her husband works for looks great! http://www.mycutcorep.com/steveadams I will definitely be ordering some knives to replace my sad excuse for cutlery. Maybe then I will love to cook! NAHHH! Anyway here is a link to her giveaway and website.Me, Myself, and Mommy

I did a Goodwill run today! Maybe I will post some pics of my finds later!

HMMMMM What to say What to say!

2010-09-23T09:36:00.000-04:00

I saw this website today and had to laugh! SO FUNNY! I really want to do this!
http://www.zefrank.com/youngmenowme/blog/

I found it on the blog A Lil Bird Told me... I really love this blog. Lots of fun and different ideas. She mixes Dollar Store crafts with earth friendly tips and organizational tips. GOOD STUFF!
http://alilbird.blogspot.com/

There has been a lot of stress in the air around here. Anyone else feeling that at their home? I don't know if its the change of season, full moon or what but I am tired of it. GET IT TOGETHER PEOPLE!
Whew! Now that that is off of my chest...

Anyone have an android phone? I have the epic 4G and I LOVE IT!!!!! Here is a very cool picture from one of the apps ( I love saying that...apps (:) It is from the retro camera application.

We are still on spider watch here. Our writing spider is still hanging out at our front door. Is it strange that I get excited when she catches a yummy meal? Last summer we watched another kind of spider and I felt really sad once it got so cold and we didn't see her again. This is an interesting site that has pictures of writing spiders and has links.
http://www.cs.utk.edu/~plank/plank/pics/spider.html

This is such a random post so forgive me but...

I had a huge lesson this week with my kids. There are so many things going on that I am not sure I can even write about them all but one very large thing is that we are in a place with our children that we want them to be involved with something outside of school and just plain old leisure; sports , arts etc. I was adamant that both of the kids should try a drama class. It seemed to make since because they are both funny and creative. All the while my son fought it and needless to say I fought harder. Finally on Tuesday we had a mule being dragged moment outside the door and he eventually looked at me and said "mom, it's just not my thing. I want to play cello." WHOA!!! I had to stop. I realized that he had a point and as long as he was willing to try something I would drop the situation. So while my gal did her drama thing we walked downtown together. It was nice to just BE with him. And cello, way cool! I hope he loves it!

Today I encourage you to take out your camera and find something (or someone) cool or interesting to capture and enjoy!

It's Hard to Say Goodbye

2010-09-16T10:10:00.000-04:00

I haven't been able to write about this until today. Last Friday we euthanized our beloved dog of 14 years, Jack. Just writing it makes me sad. I have been doing surprisingly well though because he was in pain from his hips, his eye, and had breathing problems. I felt really bad actually after he was gone because I knew we kept him around for our sake. He was a constant in our home. A friend and companion to us and our children and especially one of our other 2 dogs Sadie. She was so lost the first night without him that she got up 3 or 4 times looking for him inside and outside.

I have had to deal with a lot of loss this year because not only did we have to make the decision for Jack, but on January 24th Ace, my step-dad of 35 years died from cancer. It was and still is one of the hardest experiences I have ever been through. He was so brave up to his death. I really don't think it is necessary to go into depth about it because I don't want to give cancer that kind of power. It is an evil, evil disease that I hope one day is cured.

Today I ask that you HUG & SQUEEZE those you love. Remember those that are no longer with you! And thank God for the life you have! There are blessings in EVERYTHING and EVERYONE! Leave nothing undone. Asking for forgiveness is freedom and giving the gift of forgiveness is LIFE CHANGING!

Have a Beautiful day!

Strep Throat!!!

2010-09-09T14:03:00.001-04:00

The kiddos are home sick today but mysteriously seem to be feeling ok. That is the tricky part of strep, they are still contagious even when they feel better! AGGG! Which makes working from home difficult.

BUT, I did get a great massage this morning! The one I had last week prompted me to do something very positive for my family. I was thinking about how relaxing her tiny little room was and how easy it would be to take a small unused (or rarely used) space and make a peaceful spot for us to enjoy. I started by taking the bonus room that is only used for video games sometimes and covered the windows, added battery operated candles (so game playing boys don't burn my house down) and added a sound machine. It is not finished yet but my kids were surprisingly very drawn to that room. It is so calm in there, like a little cave.

As every year passes, I realize how my soul is drawn towards calm and solitude. I also realize how hard it is for me to allow myself to slow down enough to appreciate the space even if I am enjoying being in there. I will post pics soon once we finish hanging curtains.

PEACE! Shalom!!

OOOOHHH isn't this PRETTY???!!!???

2010-09-08T20:21:00.001-04:00

I saw this tutorial for Old Rose Wrap sometime ago but now I feel like I am gearing up to make it. I really love crochet. It reminds me of my grandmother and makes me feel comforted. I just wanted to share this in hope it would make you smile!

My gift!

2010-09-08T14:10:00.000-04:00

I saw this cute craft tutorial from http://craftzine.com/ for making Lego minifigure capes that was retweeted by Betz White on twitter http://twitter.com/betzwhite . So cute! My son loves mini figures and I bet he will be making these soon!

This past weekend I went to my mom's house with the kiddos. While I had a moment to myself I sat on the front porch with my coffee in the beautiful cool pre-Fall air. It was so pleasant and relaxing. I also happened to be texting my friend and wanted to show her the front porch of the house I grew up in so I took a picture with my phone and was simply amazed at the image that appeared. I really felt like it was a message from God letting me know that my mom was protected at all times.

When I took the picture it did not look like this to my eyes! What an amazing gift from God!

Volunteer corn, & tree frogs

2010-08-31T15:08:00.001-04:00

In the midst of weeds and a home composter that I REALLY wish I was using, is a volunteer corn plant. We don't know where it came from. We don't know why it is there. But, we are going to see what happens with it. The day my son and I discovered it, was also the day he found this cute little tree frog hiding in the folds of the long leaves. Sounds silly but there is alot to think about in that situation.

I really like frogs and the whole concept of them. To me they are cute and fascinating, especially the tree frogs. One of my favorite sounds is the "peepers" as we call them. I know it is Spring when we can hear them out in the field behind our neighborhood. At night the tree frogs hang out on the doors looking for bugs that are attracted to the lights and the kids love to grab them and spend hour begging, "Pleeeeease can I keep it?" Rember I said I liked the concept of them. DON'T YOU PUT ONE OF THOSE THINGS ON ME THOUGH! I won't touch it and don't want it touching me.

One More Thing

2010-08-30T08:37:00.001-04:00

I met the mom of the genius kids and co-creator of this brilliant new product! http://www.flipoutz.com/ It is the coolest thing that I have seen and my kids LOVE it! I wanted to share it because I applaud anyone who supports and believes in their children enough to follow through with one of their ideas. I also LOVE to see a success story and I hope that they do so well and are "the next big thing"! Please check out the website and buy this cool product. All of the messages are positive and your kids can track their flip outz coins where ever they go. Check them out to see what I am talking about!

I Need a Do-Over

2010-08-30T08:21:00.000-04:00

Tired, Sleepy, Grumpy, Cranky, Teary, Fussy, Whiny. No these are not the 7 newest friends of Snow White; just my 2 children this morning. They were having much to much fun last night and stayed up late and with all of their hearts promised " Mommy, we won't be _______ (fill in any of the 7 mentioned above). Just let us stay up a little longer!" WRONG!!! Bed time will be early tonight!

This is just what I was wondering about last night though. My DH and find it difficult to stick to any routine of discipline. Maybe the problem is we try too hard to find gimmicks but nonetheless, what we are doing never works.

So, I was thinking yesterday about how my newest way to get my kids to do "chores-or their version of them" really isn't working. I do have responsibility for it as well to help motivate them but the method itself isn't very motivating. Unfortunately, like most of us, my kids are instant gratification creatures. My idea of them getting colorful glass gems each time they do what I ask or what is expected is all well and good until I realized that we started this in the summer and school has now started back and neither one of them has filled their jar. I do believe that we should have to work for our rewards but we all get paid for our jobs pretty regularly so why shouldn't they?

Which leads me to a thought... Why would I use the same method of behavior, discipline or whatever on 2 VERY different children? But even if i did want to do something different what on Earth would it be? I feel like i have tried so many things that end up just like my glass jars, half full and forgotten.

This is my challenge to anyone who stumbles across this blog. Send me any tips or techniques you have tried on your kids that have really worked that helps them want to do chores, homework, everyday expectations (dishes to sink, brush teeth, straighten room etc), and the rewards that come along with them. It would also be helpful to know what value is put on a reward; for example, doing dishes earns 1 gem that equals 30 minutes of computer, game, or TV time or something like that. Then THE most helpful part that I have been missing is what is your child's personality like and the child's age? This will be helpful because what may work on my outgoing dramatic girl probably will not work on my sometimes with drawn computer boy.

My goal is to put all of your ideas together in some form, your names will be anonymous, in categories of personality and reward systems. This will be so helpful for all of us because even if a system works for you now it may not work in a year or so. That is why ages are so important. I am encouraged that we as parents can put our heads together and help each other. I will post them periodically on this blog unless you ask me not to. My goal is to put them all together so you can find the section that age and personality applies to your child you can read other parents tried and true ways to get their children to want to work and earn rewards.

Just send any info you would like to share to kimisen@yahoo.com and I will begin compiling all of our wisdom. I am so excited about this! Please pass my blog to any of your friends so we can begin to learn from each other. Remember those Grumpy, Whiny, Tired, Sleepy, Cranky, Fussy & Teary kids are our future leaders! (UGH!) And to that I say in advance I am sorry and I promise that they will get more sleep before they get old enough to be your leaders! :)

Thanks for reading!

On a fun note... look at our new friend!

Sunday...Oops we overslept!

2010-08-08T11:09:00.000-04:00

Ok so maybe I knew I would over sleep...a little. :) I told my DH we the boy and I might. So here I am with some more ramblings.
I debated on wheter to change the title of my blog since I have been doing much polymer clay but I am still creating everyday. Even if it is in my mind. One day I will make time.
I had a dream that we moved and the house was 2x bigger than the one we are in at no extra cost. In that dream I had decided to keep the house neat and organized and remember taking a carload to Goodwill (LOVE Goodwill). Hmmm was that a message that I am a slob, or how I would like to live? Then again, I seem to remember that there was an ostrich in the backyard for some reason so who knows! That kinda blows the whole theory. Gotta love dreams!
I have been thinking a lot lately that I have so many thoughts and would love to write them down but somehow putting them in an official Word file feels to formal for me. I don't really think I have figured anything out about life but I have had a lot of experiences and my thought about those experiences have been flooding my mind.
I really don't know if anyone has read any of this silliness that I am writing but even if not (ok then that means now I am taking to myself) I enjoy writing.
I was just thinking while making my coffee how blessed I am to finally realize that I struggle with bipolar. Weird to say? Maybe, but what I mean is all of my life as far back as I can remember I have felt different. Never sure why but when I would look at others I never knew why my experience of a situation was perceived so differently or how did I miss an entire lecture in class while sitting there. Many other things bothered me as well; like why were there times I felt driven to create even to my own exhasution. Enough was NEVER enough! More stuff, more crafts, more art lessons, more drama lessons, more more more. Then came the depression. I remember sitting in my room looking around never seeing all I had that was good and wondering why whichever boy I was obsessing about that week didn't like me (do you blame him! ), or why every noone would come over and spend the night that night (forgetting someone may have been there the night before) or just why I didn't feel happy AT ALL! Weird because I had a family that loved me and we did lots together but somehow it wasnot enough. I don't blame anyone for not noticing that I was struggling beyond normal teenage insanity. I would have fought any type of help anyway.

It took many hard years of self examination for me to realize and peel away all that I have built up. In fact I am still peeling away. I am lucky to have a patient husband and loving mother. I think my husbands patience with me becomes a mirror at times and turns me back from my bad habits. You see they are always there and I am glad of that. It is like a temperature gauge and when I start seeing it go to far to one side or the other then I know how to find the center again.

I wish I could say that I prayed when I get into those places. I am always aware of my relationship with God and am in constant conversation with Him during the day for various reasons but when my gauge starts moving I seem to forget. Luckily I have lots of prayer from others. At least I know that we have instilled prayer into our kids. They pray and ask God to help them find something they have lost. They know that there is no prayer too small!

I really love my life right now. Even though I struggle times I know those struggles are what brought me to the place I am today. I would love to keep sharing, I hope that something I say has sparked a little something in someone reading this. I welcome any feedback because I think we all need a place to share. It is healthy and as much as I hear people complain about using the computer instead of talking in person, I think for some people it the only way to express and I welcome that. I am glad to write about any of my experiences and do not ever promise any answers, just how they happened to me. This is your place to remain anonymous and read all the stuff that my brain wants me to get out. I just can't keep it in any more! Walk with me down a new road. I have not left anything behind me. I bring all of my interests and creative outlets with me. They just may look different at times.

If you stayed with me this long THANKS FOR READING!

New Ventures... Same Interests

2010-08-07T02:16:00.000-04:00

Short but sweet for now! Finally doing something I am paid to do that I love which is working from home and selling on ebay. unfortunatly I have NO balance to get me back into by polymer clay. I do however look at a lot of websites while I sit here and will be posting some links soon. Again I LOVE Cindy Leitz's site. She is amazing! Whip Up still is a favorite. Betz White has lovely fabric and felting ideas. Tonight I found a free photography course website called http://www.hypergurl.com/blog/photography/digital-photography-course.html which gives links to explanations of photography techniques that are simple to understand. Also http://www.webphotoschool.com/all_lessons/free_lessons/index.html has some free as well as some pay courses. I like the idea of learning online. It would probablybe time better spent than farming on FaceBook. :)

So here is the link to the ebay store! Enjoy! Great deals! http://stores.ebay.com/blogandshoptoo
We have Lots of Gymboree! Right now there are a few very nice Chicos items, my personal favorite is the jean and tapestry jacket.

Rainy Day

2009-09-17T08:14:00.000-04:00

I am having one of those "Do you ever wish you had more hours in a day?" kind of days. I have SO much to do but no time! Or do I ??? I have never mastered the art of time management but It seems that I hear that from many crafty folks. I certanly do not feel like one of those crafty folks right now but I know she's still here hiding and watching and learning just waitng to come out and get all Martha Stewart on somebody!

I really just needed to write and connect today! I am hoping this rain won't slow me down and I can get my sluggish self MOVING!!!

Is it Fall yet?

2009-09-03T17:47:00.000-04:00

I am enjoying the cooler weather we have been having but also being very realistic. Our weather is so crazy it could be 90 degrees tomorrow you never know!

I have been in a moderately crafty mood lately and made 2 Octoberish canes. One is the Breast Cancer Awareness ribbon and the other is a SPOOKY skull and cross bones. OK it is not that spooky but I guess it is kind of cool. I was thinking when I made it how I would like to think I could do a lovely pictorial tutorial of how I made it but it , like many other things in my life was "thrown together". I used Sculpey III for the face and eyes and (mistakenly) used Studio by Sculpey for the back ground. I knew it was very soft so I mixed it with some Sculpey III but when I reduced it the orange background squished all over the face and bones. SO I cut out a lot of the orange and mixed a little of it with silver and then repacked it, all the while shaving off excess so I could see what I was reducing. Now wouldn't that be a lovely tutorial?

Back to school and such...

2009-08-26T08:48:00.009-04:00

I just read back through my post and just realized that I am quite ADD today, so stick with me...
Well my kiddos went back to school yesterday and I thought I would fell a sense of relief because I would be freed up to be creative but I just can not get motivated. My mom shared a thought with me on procrastination that she read in a book that I thought was interesting. I have ALWAYS been a procrastinator and have looked at it as just a stopping point that I have been in until I get revved back up to work, clean etc again. But in the book this person's idea was that procrastination is actually falling back. If I look at it that way I may be more motivated to get things done (by force of course. OOOO Dr. Seuss) because I surely do not want to go backwards. I have a hard enough time inching forwards day to day.

SO, I have a project I am working on that I am going to finish today. I am making a dog adornment, necklace, I just can't find the right name for what it is, but a little dangly thing to hang off of a dog's collar. But not just any dog, my favorite celebrity blogger Perez Hilton's dog Teddy Hilton. I emailed him to get and address and HE EMAILED ME BACK!!! OK I am not 15 anymore but I was very excited. I have made a cane out of Polymer clay in the likeness of his beloved dog Teddy Hilton and I am going to (somehow) fix it so it will attach to his collar. I am still on that part of the project. How to do this??? This is my challenge!

I also saw a link on WHIP UP to a poop bag that attaches to a dog collar. I may give that a whirl today too. (MUST NOT LOOK AT THE PILE OF CLOTHES TO FOLD...)

As I mentioned my babies returned to school yesterday and loved it! We have such a great Elementary school here! I Don't know how I can possibly have a 7 yo and a 9 1/2 yo when I feel like I am a teenager. I don't think my brain developed past 17 years old. That was me rocking to the Jonas Brothers last Friday people!!!
(ok so Henry did not go to school but doesn't he look SO cut in the little Appalachian T-shirt?)

I just heard about this organization and I love it! http://www.beadforlife.org/ I am very interested in reusing materials but if reusing materials helps women get out of poverty that is just amazing! Wouldn't it be fun to teach homeless or poverty stricken women in the US to make these beads? I have made them and it is lots of fun! My daughter even loves to make them. These beads can also be made from fused plastic bags. I have been working on fusing a lot of bags but that is one of my many "in progress" things I have done!

Since I am rambling and jumping from project to project, check out Family Fun this month. http://familyfun.go.com/There are lots of fun things to make by upcycling. I just made the reusable sandwich container out of a plastic gallon jug. Easy and really GREEN!!!

Have fun being creative!

Late night discoveries

2009-08-18T02:28:00.002-04:00

I have been up searching the web for new and interesting sites and I stumbled upon called Natural Medicine Talk http://www.natmedtalk.com/ and have found it to be very interesting. The Health forums are full of diverse topics but the first one that caught my eye was about cancer since my father and aunt are dealing with it right now. I also saw more info about Vitamin D. I have heard more and more about the benefits of using it and there were so many people on the forum that had experience with using it.

I even learned how to give an Indian Head Massage. Now if I can just teach someone to give me one!

I really found Natural Medicine Talk to be easy to navigate and I really loved that they highly discouraged spammers! I never like giving out my email address on a website but I felt much better about doing so on this one.

My goal is to get healthier, more organized, and defiantly more sleep! So GOODNIGHT!!!

2009-07-27T10:07:00.002-04:00

I have a really hard time changing ANYTHING I do. It seems recycling has always been something I have done, although that could not be possible growing up in the 70's & 80's. It was always disgusting to me that people would throw trash on the ground but the thought that reducing the amount of trash and possibly even reusing some of the things we use was just not there for me. I do recall thinking how cool it would be to collect aluminum cans to take to this "magical "place to get money for them would be never wondering WHY they are taken there!

Now my whole family recycles! My kids bring bottles home from school! I love finding ways to reuse items that normally would go to Goodwill. That is why I love the website Whip Up! http://whipup.net I have it on my home page because she has 5+ new crafty things to do everyday and many of them are recycled and upcycled items! I just love finding new websites to ponder and drool over! Cute Little Disaster http://cutelittledisaster.blogspot.com is a great blog too!!

What started me thinking was an article I read about Triclosan from antibacterial soaps and such entering the water and being found in dolphins. http://www.care2.com/greenliving/triclosan-found-in-dolphins-2.html I was thinking about all of those silly emails I get about how we survived in the 70's without seatbelts, antibacterial soap, carseats etc. That is a little extreeme but knowing about the harmful chemicals that still enter the water is something important to think about. I work at a preschool and we squirt antibacterial hand cleanser like life depended on it! BUT, all of the kids and teachers (ME) still get sick. So, how do you get parents and teachers to stop doing something that was developed out of a fear of sickness when they will still have a fear if they don't use the product? Does that make sense?

We are so used to doing whatever is easiest that it really seems that trying something new is never going to happen! If we can start small and suggest other options to friends and family then one day we can make BIG changes!!! I also think if stores would stop handing out plastic bags for groceries and "give" reusable bags there would be another BIG change! Change consumers options and give them new ones. Just a thought.

Those are my ramblings for now... :)

2009-07-26T18:36:00.004-04:00

I am working again! I tried the torn watercolor paper technique I learned from Cindy Leitz http://www.beadvideos.com/video/014-4-torn-clay-watercolor/on my newest beads. HMMM I think I need more practice! Oh Well I had fun.

My paper beads look so cool! I will post them once I get them all shiny!

My friend and I went to the Charlotte Farmers Market this Saturday and I found out that I can sell my beads and jewelry there for only $10 a space! I am looking forward to that (except for the heat). I met 2 vendors that are especially cool.

One has a business called Lollipop Monkey. Cute name huh? She uses the most beautiful and modern fabric to make belts, bibs, mirrors and more here is a link to her website. http://lollipopmonkey.com

The other vendor has a company called 'O My Soap'. Cute too! http://omysoap.com She and her parents make homemade soap, lipbalm, and other (as I call them) "smellgoodies"!

These are local women selling what they make and I LOVE IT!!! Check them out!

Outside the box

2009-07-25T08:48:00.005-04:00

I am always complaining that doctors and other professionals don't think outside the box and now I know why. Because I secretly know that I want to think outside the box more. I buy book after book and read craft websites, I buy magazines but hardly EVER try the tings I see. I stay symmetrical and sometimes boring in my jewelry design. I have decided that will try to step outside that box and try new things.

I want to make my own clasps like I saw in the new wire step by step magazine, and I am going to work with copper to add in with my polymer clay like I saw on Cindy Leitz's website. I even saw how to make jewelry with paper!I am really exploring that technique. How cool to have that added in with my polymer clay beads!

It would be so fun and easy for my kids to do and we could begin to use paper that would normally be recycled or even (GASP) thrown away! My kids are so appalled that a friend of theirs does not recycle. The thought of throwing a bottle glass or plastic in the trash just sends shivers down my spine!

Speaking of that, I went to high school with someone who is really doing great things in the clothing industry using 100% recycled materials. Here is a link to a story on his products! They look really great! http://www.myfox8.com/wghp-minc-dirtball-fashion-090715,0,3491695.story You will have to copy and paste, I'm still new to this...

Just a random picture of a really BIG Praying Mantis I saw!!!

Saturday...not a productive day

2009-07-18T16:38:00.004-04:00

I am really excited about my etsy shop http://kimisen.etsy.com (if I do say so myself). I have worked really hard to make my beads and jewelry as nice as I possibly can. I am now trying to make my messy workspace orderly and set up so it makes sense to me. As hard as I try it still stays like this...

If you have any suggestions I would LOVE them.

I did apply one idea I read about. I put all of my blades in a toothbrush travel container. Very nice. Now I don't worry about dragging my arm across them in my tool holder and cutting it. Also, it is a good place for them so my daughter won't get cut when she is working in my space.

Speaking of that, anybody ever experience this...the work area has been vacant for a day or so and everyone in the house is busy but the first second I sit down I have 2 kiddos looking at me asking if they can use my space to make beads. I am so torn between me being selfish and wanting to be alone and being excited that my kids are interested in art.

Update!

2009-07-17T22:48:00.002-04:00

SOOOO! I have been very slack about posting but I have been working so much on my polymer clay beads! You must subscribe to Cindy Leitz's polymer clay video tutorials! I have learned so much from her. The link is on the left side of my page.

I have taken her idea of the "Jupiter Bead" and expanded on it a little. I turned it into a disk bead and stamped it. Since I did not have ink or whatever may have been an appropriate medium for staining my bead, mixed a bunch of colors of acrylic paint together to form a gross color of brown slathered it on the disks and then wiped off the excess. I was quite proud of the results. With a light coat of future floor polish, the paint was set and I am happy!

I also used a Jupiter bead to make a key chain! LOVE IT!!!
Here is a close-up of the bead then one of the dangly things !:)

My daughter and son love to make the beads too! I think My daughter has perfected her lentil bead and now she wants to sell them like Mommy does. Go girl!!!!

Sushi (polymer clay style!)

2009-06-05T15:41:00.003-04:00

I have become fascinated with miniature foods made with polymer clay. I saw a tutorial on making polymer clay sushi rolls and I decided that I MUST try it since I love sushi so much! I am very happy with the results and now I am suddenly very hungry for a California roll from Sushi 101.

2009-06-04T15:38:00.004-04:00

Still figuring this out but here goes...

First post!!!

2009-06-04T15:17:00.002-04:00

Well I decided to find a place to spill my thoughts and show off my work. I figured if I spend so much time reading other people's blogs then maybe I should write one of my own.

I am posting pictures of a project that I just reduced. I had this grand idea of creating a sun in large form and reducing it way down so I could use it for many things. I really did not know what I was doing outside of working from pictures I had seen online. SO...I worked for 3 days and used LOTS, did I say lots of clay for this project.

Once I reduced it and cut into it I realized that somehow one of the sun's eyes was "missing". It had some how dissapeared into the clay. Now my lovely sun is one eyed in some of the slices and winking in others. LIVE and LEARN! I figure if I expect my kids to make something good out of a mistake then I will too! I will post what creative things come out of my mistake.